About Toby The Tar Guy
Our Mission
Meet Toby "The Tar Guy" Thompson
Founder, CEO, and Chief Sealer-Slinger at Toby’s Totally Legit Sealcoating & Lawn Furniture Repair
Born behind a gas station and raised on expired Slim Jims and Monster Energy drinks, Toby Thompson is the self-proclaimed “Michaelangelo of asphalt,” despite failing art class three times and thinking “asphalt” is something you catch from sitting on the wrong toilet seat.
Toby got his start in the sealcoating industry when his cousin dared him to drink a bucket of coal tar emulsion. He didn’t win the bet, but he did develop an immunity to all known solvents and a sixth sense for spotting half-filled potholes from 300 yards away while hungover.
His business motto?
“If it’s black, I spray it.”
(Yes, that includes curbs, grass, and your grandma’s sidewalk.)
Known for his signature technique of not cleaning the surface, ignoring all prep work, and diluting sealer until it's legally classified as brown water, Toby's average job lasts just long enough for the check to clear. He proudly drives a 1992 Chevy van with one working headlight, a dent that looks like the state of Florida, and a bumper sticker that reads:
“My Other Truck Leaks Oil Too!.”
When he’s not sealcoating, Toby enjoys mud wrestling at county fairs, collecting restraining orders, and submitting one-star reviews on competitors’ Google listings using fake names like “Asphart Jones.”
Fun Fact:
Toby once used roofing tar instead of crack filler.
Double Fun Fact:
It actually held up better than his marriage.
Our stunning asphalt projects in action
